Harry Potter and the Holy Grail
by Anne Waterfeild
Summary: Umm... I just thought it was fun to put two things I like together
1. Default Chapter

Everyone knows about Harry Potter and most people know the story of Monty Python and the Holy Grail! So here is a silly fanfic about Harry and all the rest.  
  
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*You here soft noises come from the distance* Suddenly Harry appears apparently riding a very noisy broomstick. When Harry reaches the top of the hill he has no broomstick at all and behind him is Ron holding an electric fan. Harry and Ron arrive to this large castle Harry yells up to some random person at the top of the castle, " Hello there could I please speak to Lord Longbottom!" The person leans his head down who ends up being Fred Weasley. Harry continues to speak, " We have flew for many months in search of knights to join me at Camelot!" Fred looks down at Harry and yells in reply, " You have not been flying. You don't even have a broom. You are just using an electric fan!" " Please good sir, go tell your master." Harry started. "Where did you get the fan?" Fred interrupted. " * Blink blink * we found it!" Harry stumbled from his lips. Fred slashed back, " Here? In the wizarding world? You can't find them here there are no muggles!" " Muggle born people come here and use magic yet they have lived off electricity there whole lives!" Harry replied sternly. "Are you telling me that a muggle born witch or wizard brought it here and left it in the middle of nowhere for you to find?" questioned Fred. " It could have been broken" " Then how come it works for you?" Harry looks at Ron for an answer he could give to Fred but Ron shrugs. " I don't care," Harry said, " Now could you please get your Lord." " It is improbable for a person to drop a good working fan in the middle of know where for you to find!" "I don't care!" Suddenly George came out, " It could have been a stupid muggle." " That may be so but I am talking about a witch or wizard that grew up in a muggle family." " Please may I see." " And anyway muggles cannot come here." Harry starts walking away while Fred and George are still babbling about fans and muggles. Ron follows relieved that He did not have to listen to any more of Fred or George. Well that was the end of the chapter. If you want me to do more just review and tell what scene you want. 


	2. The Bridge Of Beth

Harry Potter and the Holy Grail (or pail in this story) The Bridge of Beth  
  
Hi! I own only one character. That being the terrible Beth who you never see or hear (. Sorry about the paragraph thing, when I have time I will fix it ( No one told me you had to leave spaces between the lines to get paragraphs!). So then.  
  
Fist of all the characters!  
  
Harry Potter= King Arthur  
  
Ron Weasley= Sir Galahad the pure (Ok I decided that Ron deserved a better part.)  
  
Hermione Granger= Ummm. sort of a mix.  
  
Neville Longbottom= Sir Robin the not so brave as Sir Lancelot (He was demoted and now is a sir not a lord.)  
  
Seamus Finnigus = Lancelot the Brave (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((  
  
Harry, Ron, Hermione, Seamus, and Neville now approached the Bridge of Beth that they were told to go by the crazy old man by the name of Mad-eye Moody. As they approached Harry told the others what they must do. " Now you must answer the one question" "three questions" interrupted Ron, "three questions" corrected Harry and continued. " And if you get the one question," "three questions" "three questions right then you can pass across the bridge of Beth." "What if you get a question wrong?" asked Neville silently. "Then you will be cased into the cavern where you will find a girl called Beth that will annoy you until you die of starvation." Replied Harry (That would be fun eh?). Harry asked Neville to go first but when Neville declined Seamus decided to go.  
  
Seamus approached the bridge of Beth courageously and stood across from the abnormal man. Moody suddenly spoke to the idiot, " You have now approached the bridge of Beth. To cross you must answer these three questions. Number one, what is your name?" "Sir Seamus the brave" " What is your quest?" " I seek the holy pail" "What is your favourite season?" "Winter" "You may pass," said Moody. At that Seamus crossed the rickety bridge.  
  
Seeing the questions that Seamus was asked Neville eagerly approached the bridge. Moody spoke again this time to Neville, "What is your name?" " Sir Neville the not so brave as Sir Lancelot" "What is your quest?" "I seek the holy pail" "What makes the sky blue?" Neville *0_0? * " I don't know that!!!" Neville was lifted off his feet and tossed in the cavern. When he landed he suddenly gave a humungous scream " Ahhhh!!!! Not youuuuu!!!!!!" then there was silence.  
  
Ron who looked a bit more nervous then Neville went up to Moody. " Ok" said Moody, " What is your name?" "Sir Ron the pure" "What is your quest?" "I seek the holy pail" "What is your favourite season?" " Summer. no faaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll." So Ron was tossed into the cavern. Hermione approached Moody now shaken since two of her friends had already been tossed into the cavern. " What is your name" "Hermione Granger" "What is quest" "I seek the holy pail" " What happens when you take copper and put it under a flame?" "The flame turns green of course!" Hermione dashed across the bridge. Last but not least Harry stepped in the spot light. Moody spoke looking gleeful "What is your name" " King Harry" "What is your quest?" "I seek the holy pail" "If you took a fan and put a piece of paper in front of it how far would the piece of paper float?" "What do you mean?" asked Harry, " An electric fan or a paper one?" "I don't know that!" said Moody and fell into the cavern.And so Harry walked across the rickety bridge. (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((  
  
Ok so tell me what sceen you want next. I think I may do things that have already been asked for. 


	3. The Slytherin Taunters

Hello fellow crazy people I am back again with the third chapter for Harry Potter and the Holy Grail. Other wise known as the holy pail in this version since yes. pails are much more fun then grails since you can hit things with it, like so, *Throws unnecessary pail at cat that just entered room*."Anne!" comes a voice from down the hall, "How many times must I tell you not to throw ANYTHING at the cats. Not even the unnecessary pail in your room. You're GATED!" Oh dear looks like I am gated for throwing things at the cats again oh well guess I can finish this fan fic then. I was so worried that I would not be able to tell you this but now I am glad. "Get on with it!" yells *oh la la * Draco Malfoy waving his wand. "Yes get on with it!" yells mad-eye Moody. "Yes GET ON WITH IT," yells millions of people who wait for their scene to come on. Fine! I shall get on with it! Ungrateful little. *mumbles *. Ok then where was I? Oh yes. Now I present you with the new exciting chapter!!! * Random person cheers *   
  
Harry Potter and the Holy Grail (pail) The Slytherin Taunters (chapter 3)  
  
Harry and his knights (sort of) flew on with their trusty helpers carrying their packs as well as (of course) their electronic fans. They saw a castle in the distance and decided that they would go there. As they drew nearer the castle became more clear and looked like a pretty nice place to rest the night.  
  
When they were pretty much a meter away from the castle Harry called up to a guard he could see and shouted, "Hello good sir! Ask your lord if he would let us stay in the castle for a night. We are on a quest for the holy pail and if he lets us stay then he can join in our holy crusade."  
  
"I don't think he would be very interested," replied the guard who is remarkably, the handsome Draco Malfoy.  
  
"Why" asked Harry.  
  
"You see, we already got a holy pail," replied Draco  
  
"What?" questioned Harry.  
  
"He said they already got one!" Ron told Harry.  
  
" I told them we already got one" snickered Draco to the guards close by.  
  
"Well.could we see it then?" asked Harry.  
  
"Hah! Of course you can't! You are gryffidors!" replied Draco, who at that point lifted his nose rather high. Harry was quite confused at this moment and said what he thought was the only reasonable question to ask.  
  
"Well, then what are you?"  
  
"We are slytherins of course! Why do you think we have such rude and snotty things to say you scar headed fool!" Draco said quite harshly at Harry.  
  
"What are you doing in the Gryffindor area then?" asked Ron, quite curious as to the answer.  
  
"Mind your own butterbeer!" Draco told Ron.  
  
Harry was getting rather annoyed at this slytherin and decided to take it to more serious levels. "If you do not show us the pail then we will take your castle by force!"  
  
"You don't frighten us you gryffindor sickly lions!" yelled down Draco, "Go piss on your great grandmothers! I throw my girlfriend's handkerchief at you!" He then made crazy faces at Harry.  
  
" What a strange person" Rom said still looking at Draco who has now slapping his chest. Harry decided to try once more.  
  
" Now, see here." at this moment Draco interrupted Harry.  
  
"I don't want to talk to you anymore you dirty little pigs! I put boogies on you head! Your mother was a mudblood and your father smelt of Asphodel!"  
  
"Are you sure there is no one else up there to talk to?" asked Ron trying to find a way out of the situation.  
  
"There is no one!" said Draco "Now go before I tease you another time!"  
  
"This is your last chance! I have warned you! If you do not agree then I shall."  
  
Suddenly from the castle a humongous "Harry Stinks" badge was tossed out among the gryffindors and landed on the one carrying Hermione's bags. So harry and the others started to attack the castle walls. But then all sizes of "Harry Stinks" badges were thrown at them and Harry had to say, "Fly away, Fly away!" before they were all killed and so they ran.  
  
  
  
The gryffindors had taken cover and had no idea what to do. Then Hermione said, "I've got a plan!" and so they went to work developing the master plan.  
  
Soon enough In front of the castle doors was a great big veela statue made of wood. Some of the slytherins came out and stared at the beautiful statue. When Draco appeared he said, "Who needs a statue like that! I mean seriously!". But the other guards wanted to have it soooo badly that Draco gave in and they brought it inside.  
  
At the same time Hermione, Harry, Ron, and the others were lying watching it go in. "Now what?" asked Harry to Hermione.  
  
"We wait and then in the middle of the night me, Ron, and Neville crawl out of the statue and take them by total surprise." Replied Hermione happily.  
  
"Wait," said Ron, "Who jumps out?"  
  
"Me, you, and Neville!" said Hermione a bit irritated. The three of them stared at each other and then Hermione said, "Oh drat! Well hey! I'm human!"  
  
And so everyone gave up trying to get the castle and continued on their journey.  
  
THE END OF THE CHAPTER  
  
  
  
"So this is the end of the chapter. I hope everyone enjoyed reading it! Sorry it took so long but hey. Review please." And the author walks away two inches and falls asleep on one of the cats. 


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